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12 ways you’re scaring him off without realizing it

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Everyone is different of course, but in general, there are certain things that will probably scare away most males. In fact, most of these things would probably scare off females too! As much as we wish dating weren’t like a game and we could�do whatever we want, that’s just not true. So, if you want to make a new relationship work, please don’t do this stuff. Seriously. Here are�12 ways you’re scaring him off�without even realizing it:

Getting Mad About Stupid Little Things

If you’ve just started hanging out with someone and you’re already picking fights over little things, that’s a definite way to scare someone off. Of course there are legit things you can get angry about, like if he completely blows you off for someone else. But if you get angry about stupid little things, he might get freaked out. Like, if he has to cancel plans once for a real reason and you flip out – or if he says he’s having a guys night and you get too jealous.

Claiming On Social Media

If you’re not officially a couple yet, or even if you just started dating, don’t start immediately acting like you’re totes in love on Facebook. Commenting on all of his stuff, posting tons of pictures he doesn’t even realize you took or adding all of his friends are things that will freak him out.

‘Accidentally’ Showing Up At A Place You Know He’ll Be

Guys are not stupid, yet some girls seem to think they are totally oblivious. They’re not. If he’s smart, he’ll notice when you’re being sneaky. So, don’t just “accidentally” show up to his favorite hangout spot and then pretend you had no idea he would be there when you see him. He’ll think you’re stalking him. This only applies when you’ve first started dating… if you’re trying to flirt or let him know you like him, that’s sometimes a different story.

Talking Badly About Anyone

Dudes are generally not into gossip. I mean, yeah, some of them could be, but generally they don’t like drama. So if you spend an entire date talking crap about your friends, your ex, that dude from gym class… you’re going to make him think twice about a second date. I’ve watched guys dump girls for having too much drama, even if it had nothing to do with them. Don’t think it won’t happen.

Asking Too Many Questions About What He’s Doing

Intrusive questions are annoying for anyone. It’s polite to be like, “What did you do last night?” It’s annoying to be like, “Who were you with? Did you talk to a girl? Was your ex there? What were you wearing? What time did you leave?” This makes you seem insecure and also possessive. It’s suffocating! He’ll run faster than you can ask the next q.

Being Inconsistent

You might think you need to play games with every dude, but that’s not true. Being too inconsistent is a sure way to scare him off. Don’t be all about him one week and then think you need to show distance by backing off completely. He’ll wonder what exactly you’re doing behind his back and if this relationship is even going to go anywhere, so is it even worth it?

Asking To Hang Out All The Time

You should definitely make the first move sometimes. Guys like that! But you don’t need to ask him to hang out every single day. A guy friend of mine was once talking to a girl he liked who would constantly ask him to hang out. He stopped talking to her even though he thought she was cool. He said he was worried that if they started dating, like he had wanted to, she would suffocate him and not give him any time to himself.

Assuming Things Are Happening Without Talking To Him First

Here’s what I mean by this: don’t make plans with him without getting his input. Don’t buy things for him without asking what he likes. Don’t assume you know what he’s talking about or doing if you haven’t asked him ever. Assuming things is a quick way to make yourself look like an idiot. If you just make plans without telling him, he’ll think you’re controlling. If you always assume you know what he’s thinking or doing, he’ll think you’re insecure and maybe a little crazy.

Talking About The Future Too Much

This one is obvious, but still needs to be said. Refrain from talking about marriage, babies or serious commitment right away. Don’t mention how much you can’t wait to have a wedding. Don’t casually drop baby names you like. Don’t talk about next summer if it’s September. You’re going to make him panic.

Liking Everything He Does Online

This is similar to claiming in that it’s just too much. If you like and comment every single thing he puts on Facebook or Instagram, he’s going to think you’re living for what he posts. Have your own life outside of him and show him that you do.

Texting or Calling Too Often

This is another obvious one, but still needs to be said, because I still see way too many people do it. Too many texts is a quick way to creep someone out. It’s overbearing and annoying. That’s it.

Trying To Sneak A Peak At His Texts

You might think you’re being sly, but he most likely notices you trying to subtly glance over his shoulder as he answers a text message. Don’t do this. It’s awkward. It will make him uncomfortable. A friend does this to me and she’s a girl and it still makes me want to scream. Give him the privacy he deserves.

– Written by Jessica Booth



SFI Africa



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