There was an uneasy silence in the room as I watched my mum, she was pacing up and down the room and this wasn’t helping my composure.
“When was the first time you had such dream?” She turned, facing me
“Last two weeks or so” I answered
“Why did you wait till now to tell me?” she asked, worry lines already appearing on her forehead.
I thought of my restless night, rushing out of the house before my roommates woke up. The fear that still gripped me as I thought of my mother’s reaction, what her conclusions might be but above all I knew I had to tell her. The long wait for my father to leave the house, he didn’t question my early visit to the house, he was more preoccupied with a meeting he was attending in the next 30 mins. It was after I heard his car leave the gate, I walked up to my mum, narrated my dreams to her as she listened calmly and quietly in her usual manner as concern clouded her eyes.
“Amaka, don’t take things like this lightly next time. Do you want me to tell your father?”
“No, ma” I said as we both smiled in understanding.
“Ok, I won’t, we will start a one week prayer session. I will give you some bible verses and a prayer booklet, we would agree on a time to say the prayer. It is well, my child. You shouldn’t be afraid” she said.
This was why I knew telling her was going to be helpful, I felt a sense of calmness in me. My father would have asked a lot of questions and start scolding like I asked for the dream to happen. He would always have a way to make it your fault, “you don’t pray enough” or “you are engaging in sin”.
“I’m sure you haven’t eaten judging by the time you arrived here, let’s go fix something”
“Ok, ma” I said standing up, following her lead.
“Do you have lectures today?”
“Yes, but it’s later in the day”
* * *
“Roland, I am walking home can we talk about this later” I said shifting the phone to my other hand. Roland had spent the past thirty minutes asking why I haven’t responded to his messages, how he is sorry for jumping into conclusions, he spoke with Jessica and she confirmed my story. He went on and on, but I was more concerned about the scorching sun and the sweat dripping down my back and forehead. Why didn’t I take a bike? I thought to myself.
“Amaka, please just tell me we are cool before I hang up”
“Yes, we are cool” I said already tired to pursue the matter further
“When will I see you, I have missed you. It’s been ages”
I wondered if he was referring to seeing me, sex, or my food.
“I will call you back after my class, I am running late.”
“Ok, that’s fine by me” He answered
Walking into the room, Jessica and Uju were watching a movie and barely noticed my presence. I took off my clothes hurriedly, grabbed my towel.
“So, how did it go at the hospital?” I asked Jessica, as I pulled up my leather leggings
“Fine, I am ok.” She answered not wanting to give details
“She has broken up with Wale” Uju declared with a huge smile
I couldn’t help but smile with her as I knew why she was so excited about it, she has been waiting for this day.
“Are you ok?’ I asked Jessica, “Exams starts on Monday, hope you can get yourself together before then”
“Yes, I will, I can’t fail my exams too. That’s too much bad omen for me” She said with conviction
“Where did you go to this morning?” Jessica asked
“I went home” I said picking up my bag
“Why so early, hope no problems?”
It was at the tip of my tongue to tell them I had another dream but I decided not to, I was also late for class as I glanced at my wrist watch.
“No, Mum called me to come home. Some family issues, nothing serious” Heading for the door.
“I will see you guys later.’
“Bye, get something on your way home” Uju called out
I kept having flashes from the dream as I boarded a bus to school, I tried pushing the thoughts away but it wouldn’t go away. I took a few notes as I tried to focus on the lanky man lecturing, I kept stealing glances at my watch as the lecture seemed to go on forever.
* * *
Standing akimbo staring at my bed with the contents of my bags all over the bed, I hissed already frustrated my clothes where all over the place. I did another hurried check, scanning my bed hoping to see it but it wasn’t there. With a frustrated sigh I moved my makeup bag and phone angrily, sitting down, staring at the floor hoping I can decipher where it was
“What is it? What are you looking for?” Jessica asked
“My exam docket is not here” I snapped
“Don’t give me that tone, is it a crime I asked”
“Sorry, but I have my first paper on Monday, and today is Saturday”
“It should be somewhere there, where else could it be” Uju said munching her plantain chips
“But it’s not, if I don’t find it I don’t know what to do”
“Go to a café and print another one today” Jessica said as she lazily searched through my clothes on the floor
“So if I print another one, how on earth am I supposed to get my HOD and course adviser to sign before Monday? My paper is 8am o”
‘Oh, I hate this’ I muttered to myself, dropping a bag loudly.
“Amaka, you are careless. You keep misplacing one thing or the other. So when was the last time you saw it?” Jessica said
“It has always been in here since the day I printed it, I haven’t taken it out since.” I said pointing to my polka dot bag
“So when was the last time you took the bag out?”
I thought about it for a few seconds and then it dawned on me, I was silent, acted like I was still thinking about it
“I can’t really remember” I lied
“That is not helping matters, oya think na” Uju said still munching her chips noisily
I stood up, headed for the door. “I need to make a call, let me get call card”
“Hi, Amaka. You finally dialed my number, why have you been avoiding my calls?” He asked
“I wasn’t with my phone”
We both knew I was lying but he didn’t say it
“How are you?”
“I’m fine, I know this might sound funny and awkward but I think my exam docket is in the room I slept in your house after the party”
He was silent for a split second “Ok, but I am not home now”
My heart sank “Oh, Ok”
“You know what, I will call you once I am home. My car is at the mechanics, so you would have to come check for it”
“No problem, like what time?”
“Ok” I was a bit disappointed because the timing was late. “I will be there before then”
“Nice hearing from you”
“Thanks” I said ending the call.
Stepping back into the room, Uju questioned “So, do you remember now?”
“Yes, I will be going soon to get it”
“Where?’ She asked in her inquisitive manner
“A friends place” I said, while folding my clothes.
I knew they were both exchanging glances but I pretended not to notice, I didn’t need Uju’s assumptions on George. I knew she would have a lot to say if she knows its George’s place. Maybe I also wanted to see him again, I didn’t need Uju’s curious stare and insinuations.
* * *
Smiling and zipping my bag as I placed my exam docket in my bag, grinning like I won a lottery.
“Cute smile, you have dimples too” George said
I almost forgot he was leaning on the door as he watched me in my frantic search.
“Thanks” I said walking towards the door, he was still standing by the door so I paused.
“Let’s have diner together, I think I can make something fast” He said stepping forward
“No, thanks I am running late, I need to start heading back”
“Please, he said” Stepping even closer.
‘No, thanks’ I insisted now feeling cornered as he was too close for comfort.
‘Why do you avoid looking at me, or is it a thing you do with everyone?’ He asked, his middle finger was on my jaw urging me to look at him.
I took a deep breath and met his glance
‘Now, that’s better. You have a pretty face. Stop covering it’
I gave a weak smile as I attempted to escape the tensed atmosphere, my heart was already doing a marathon.
“I have been thinking” We were standing so close already, my legs felt tied, my tongue went dry
“About what?’ I asked clearing my voice
“Did your lips really drive me crazy or it was the alcohol in me playing tricks the other night”
I was lost for words, I have never heard anyone speak this blunt.
His hands were on my waist, I knew he was going to kiss me again, my palms began sweating in anticipation. I drew closer without even knowing I did, he placed a soft peck on my lips at first, I had my lips parted and was disappointed when he drew back.
“I can’t stop if I start, please don’t stop me” he said in a voice that made me forget every other thing.
I knew what he meant, I thought of Roland for a brief moment and wondered if it would be as painful as his.
I knew I wanted to know what it will be like with George, I knew we had something which was why I avoided his calls. I love Roland, I told myself again but my body was saying something else as I closed the gap. He smiled, as his lips met mine, it felt so soft I couldn’t resist the urge to suck it, his hands were holding my butt, squeezing them. I drew even closer, I wanted to close every space between us and the thought scared me. His lips started burning a path to my ear lobe, this fire continued to my neck. I let out a low moan, I traced my fingers under his shirt, exploring his tummy, we were both breathing hard and fast. He pulled his shirt over his head in a flash, he reached for the hem of my gown, his lips paused it’s torture, I looked at him and I saw the question in his eye.
“Should I?” he said in a husky tone
I nodded as I couldn’t trust myself to speak, he pulled my gown over my head. In a split second, my bra was off. He led me to the bed, in the next ten minutes, his lips and hands had gone everywhere, I was moaning, cursing, there was no clothes between us anymore . I couldn’t believe my ears, I shocked myself. He looked at me with a satisfied grin on his face. I was trying to catch my breath
“Are you sure, are you ready?, I can’t let you go after this.” He said, I knew he meant it.
The selfish part of me nodded, we would sort this out after this. I will think after this, nothing prepared me for the jolt of pleasure that engulfed me as I felt our bodies join. I called out his name. I knew then this would never be like Roland’s, this won’t also be the last time.