I left the hospital confused and sad not knowing what to do. I came back to my room not minding what the girls would do to me if they find me.I had other important things to worry about now like my baby. Did I just say my baby?? Was I already accepting the child?? What do I do? Should I damn all consequences and keep the child? If I do how will my mum take the news that her only daughter whom she has always had great plans for is pregnant…this was not a good idea.
What if I abort the child and die in the process…how would my mum take the news that I died due to an abortion.
Now I realized that whatever decision I take,my mum would still find out and be hurt. So then what do I do???
I was restless tossing and turning on my bed. Another decision I had to make was whether to let Dan know or not. Two hours of tossing,turning,thinking and crying I still hadn’t come up with any decision at all. I fell asleep.
I heard a knock on the door I stood up to go open the door and found Dan by the door. What do you want I asked him. As angry as I sounded, it was obvious to me that I still felt something for this guy. I tried as much as I could to hide it tho. He asked” can I come in please?”
“Come in to do what” I replied
“We need to talk” he said
“There is nothing to talk about” I said impatiently
I know you are pregnant he said in a low voice obviously trying to help me keep my “Open secret”.
I was taken off balance….how did he know?
I tried to hide the panic in my voice when I said “I don’t know what you are talking about”.
“There is no need to hide it from me Sandra I have a copy of the test result here”
Huh!!! “Come in” I said almost immediately.
Dan entered the room and sat down while I paced about the room. The room was quiet for another 5minutes and then he spoke
“When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant?”
“Is it mine?”
“What kind of stupid question is that” I asked shouting at the top of my voice not minding who was listening after all if he had found out someone else can also find out.
“Do you think I am a slut!”
Take it easy” he said calmly “I am sorry I said that”
“What do you plan to do now”
“I am yet to make a decision”
“You need to act fast before its too late he said and continued by saying…I am not ready to be a father yet so I think you should remove it. I will take you to a doctor outside of town he’s good at it.”
It was like my whole world was over I couldn’t believe he just say that.
“You are selfish and heartless I ranted. What if I die in the process then what happens? With that I started crying
My body shook from my sobs and he stood up and held me close
“You will not die” he whispered
“You are not the first to do this and the doctor is an expert”
He calmed me down for close to ten minutes and when I had stopped crying he walked to the door, turned and said I will communicate to you the day and time we would go for the abortion. In the meantime,no one must know about this.
He said this with no feeling of remorse and that pissed me off so much that I reacted
“How dare you” I screamed…”you are disgusting and egocentric with no human feeling..I will not kill my baby”.
“Then be ready to face whatever comes with that decision” he said and walked out slamming the door behind him.
I was filled with rage and thought of what to do to punish him for that nonsense he spewed from his mouth. I was in the middle of that thought when I heard a knock and in anger shouted
“Who is there” and before I could say another word they had forced themselves in the room. It was Dan’s girlfriend and her gang and she said
“So you want to have a child for my boyfriend”
“Let’s see how that works out for you” and before I could say another word they descended on me and where hitting me all over and one of them was more interested in my stomach.
She kept hitting me and I was shouting My baby! My baby! My baby!
Sandra I heard Vanessa call me. I held her so close “where were you when they were killing my baby”
Who? She asked and I opened my eyes and it was just her in the room.
I came in and met you sleeping she explained and in your sleep you started screaming “my baby”.
So it was all a dream….thank God I said.
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