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8 tips on what to do when he isn’t calling or texting You Back

Flames of Love

When it comes to dating, one of the most frustrating things ever has to be when you’re talking to a dude and out of nowhere, he stops answering your texts. Or, he says he’ll call and he doesn’t. Basically, whenever he doesn’t call or text you back can drive you CRAZY. Ugh.

In these situations, it can be tough to figure out what to do. The hopeful part of your brain wants to believe something happened, like his phone died or he’s really, really busy with other stuff or maybe your phone is broken and the text just didn’t go through. Then there’s that miserable part of your brain that is imagining the absolute worst. So how do you deal?

Don’t Bombard Him With Messages

When someone is not responding to you, the absolute worst thing you can do is bombard them with your own messages. It’s the easiest and fastest way to push someone away and make them really annoyed. I know how frustrating it is to go without a response, but please don’t start sending a bunch of texts, calling, attempting Facebook messages just in case and texting his friends to see if he’s with them. It looks desperate and also makes you seem a little crazy – it’s just way too overwhelming.

Send A Casual Text To See What’s Up

However, it’s totally acceptable to reach out to him once or twice to say what’s up. If he hasn’t responded to your text in 3 days or he said he would call and never did, shoot him a simple and casual text saying something like, “Hey, what’s up?” If you don’t get a response a second time, I would personally drop it. However, if you really want, you can wait a few days and try once more. But stay casual about it – if you send an angry, demanding text right away, he’s definitely not going to answer.

Reach Out In Person If Possible

Do you guys go to the same school or work together? If so, casually try to reach out in person. It’s obviously a lot harder to lie and avoid someone when you’re looking at their face. Don’t seek him out or mysteriously show up at places you know he’ll be. But if you two have a class together, don’t be afraid to approach him to say hi. If he avoids you or acts weird, you’ll know something is up.

Be Careful About Who You Complain To

I know this whole situation is probably making you really mad and upset. Just be careful about who you complain to – I wouldn’t complain to any mutual friends you have with this person, because they can easily go back and tell them what you said or, worse, make things more dramatic and make you seem crazy. Vent to your close friends who you trust, but don’t let everyone know you’re upset.

Avoid Writing About It On Social Media

Again, you don’t want this to be a public affair – it’s between you and this person and it’s no one else’s business. Avoid sub-tweeting nasty remarks or making “subtle” Facebook statuses that are obviously about him and the situation. You might think it will catch his attention and make him want to call you, but really it will just make you look immature and annoying.

Wait A While, Then Confront Him

If it’s been a while since you’ve heard from him and you’re really upset and confused, you totally have the right to say something to him – especially if you guys were dating, hooking up or whatever. Try to do this as maturely as possible. Send a text or message or approach him in person and say something like, “Listen, I’m really confused. I thought things were going okay between us, but I haven’t heard from you. Is something going on?” If you still don’t hear an answer, cut him off completely

Don’t Wait Around For Him

I know how easy it is to obsess over a possible text or message from this dude when he’s been blowing you off. But please don’t wait around for him. Don’t keep your phone glued to your hand or jump every time it makes a noise. Don’t stay home just in case he calls. Go out, live your life and try to put this in the back of your mind. If he calls, great. If not, whatever. You have better things to do with your time.

Move On and Cut Your Losses

If he never responds to anything? Seriously, forget about him and move on. First of all, showing him no attention and doing your own thing will give off a better message than sending him a long, angry text explaining why he’s a dirtbag. Second of all, if he’s not going to respect you enough to answer you, he’s not worth your time at all. Cut your losses and move on now.

SFI Africa


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