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7 common ways women misunderstand men

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Its really not true that guys are always in the mood to have sex. But, because we are told this, women often think that a guy is just not into us, or that we did something that put a guy off, …

Women are great at couching things. We are great at dishing out the worst insult, in the sweetest way so that the receiver barely knows whether to smack us or thank us. We don’t like to be mean. Most importantly, we decide what to do and say based on what we want the overall outcome to be. We women don’t always speak from our gut, but from our heads, thinking �how will this affect things in the long run?” Men are a little more reactive. They aren’t as good at covering up the expression that just swept across their face, or coming up with a nicer way to say something. And more often than not, women take it the wrong way:

1. What does �I don’t know” mean anyway?

When a woman says �I don’t know” it often means �no I don’t want to do that” �no I don’t love you” �no I did not orgasm.” �No” is too harsh for us, so we say �I don’t know” instead. So when men say it, we think it’s game over. No he doesn’t love us. No he doesn’t want to go do that with us. No he didn’t orgasm. But, usually, when a man says �I don’t know” he really just doesn’t know, and doesn’t want to jump to giving an answer yet.

2. Silence after sweetness

This is similar to the �I don’t know”� misunderstanding. You tell your man you are so excited to spend a whole two weeks alone, just the two of you, on vacation. You tell your man you have never loved someone as much as you love him. You tell him you feel like he fits into your family perfectly. And he says…nothing. He smiles. He nods. Women often read this as very cruel�as the guy passively saying that he feels the exact opposite way. The truth is, he may just not feel�whole heartedly�the exact same way, and he knows what a dumb*ss he looks like when he tries to fake enthusiasm. He doesn’t feel 100% the opposite as you do, but he doesn’t feel 100% the same. So he says nothing.

3. Not in the mood

It’s really not true that guys are always in the mood to have sex. But, because we are told this, women often think that a guy is just not into us, or that we did something that put a guy off, if he doesn’t want to have sex. But, I have had plenty of exes have their one off night when they said they just weren’t in the mood, but they still wanted to cuddle the hell out of me and tell me how crazy they were about me. Men’s libidos dip sometimes, just like women’s. Doesn’t mean they are repulsed by you.

4. Criticizing your family or friends

Women like to be supported. They like their men to have their back. So, sometimes, in a misguided attempt, your man will make a snide remark about a friend that you have been complaining about lately, or even say something critical about your mother if the two of you have been bumping heads. He is trying to show he is on your side, but the rule stands the same for every family; �nobody makes fun of my family but me.” So, we can get offended when he is just trying to be supportive.

5. Taking time out

Not everyone needs to hash things out in a fight right then and there. Some people need time to think. Men will often bolt early on in a fight, saying they don’t want to talk about it, or need to be alone. And women read this as them just not caring. When really, even if they seem pissed or indifferent at first, usually they go off and think about the fight and how to resolve it.

6. Needing alone time

For whatever reason, men tend to need time away from the relationship more than woman do. Be realistic and ask yourself how often you hear your female friends complaining that their boyfriends don’t call enough, don’t plan dates for them enough, and just aren’t�there�as much as she they wish they were. Women are better at coupling up. So, if we tell a guy that we need �alone time” or �space,” that is usually the beginning of the end. If a guy says it, he might just need some alone time, and when he returns from it, he will feel just as strongly about you as he did before.

SFI Africa


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