Doris opened up to Punch
Initially, it was but at a point everything looked rosy outside but not at home. He just woke up one day and decided he didn’t want the marriage again.
I can’t say what actually happened. I did not suspect if he was dating any woman or not because we were the best of friends. I trusted him too. When the problem started, I was begging him for reconciliation. I am an orphan with nobody to run to but his family members, who also tried to intervene. At a point, they fought with him because he stopped picking their calls, even his pastor. Before the separation, I suggested counselling but he promised to turn around for good. He did not. He would leave the house for some days and would not pick my calls. He also accused me of nagging and policing him around. At a point, he came back and told me it was lack of money that caused the problems. As a good wife, I suggested we pray about it. He told me one day that he wanted to go and see his mother and took our only son with him (the union produced a child). I didn’t suspect anything because they usually went out together. That was the last time I saw my then two-year-old son.
But the incidence must have taken its toll on you?
Yes, it did initially because I loved him. It broke me down for about a year but I decided one day to move on. I learnt from my mum not to listen to what people say but maintain focus and I did.
When was that?
That was about four years ago. The boy is six years old now.
Did you take any action then?
If I let it weigh me down, he would use it as a ground to fight me in court. I have not spoken to the boy for about a year now. I am sure that even if he runs away with my child for 18 years, the boy will ask after me. I am his mother. Currently, the case is in court.
Is there room for reconciliation?
I am not ready to reconcile with him.
It is going to four years since we split and I do not see anything wrong in that. Maybe because of the things he said when I sought to reconcile. I wanted reconciliation when the whole thing started but he said it was too late. He never said what the problem was. It was a normal hassle between couples. If he says I cannot force him into a marriage that he is no longer interested in, why would he want to come back now?
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