By Elsie Godwin

Relationship is always a game of risk. Even when you think you have checked for all the red flags, people change, dumb things happen but at the end of the day, it’s a relationship.

I watched the video yesterday and I was almost moved to tears.

I could vividly imagine what Tiwa Savage must have gone through trying to be a loving wife to her now ex-husband – Tunji Balogun. How much she had stomached to keep up with appearance which a lot of y’all calling her names right now do. The only difference here is that she is a celebrity and some tiny little bits of her private life seems everywhere, fueling dumb rumours and dumb people trying to judge a woman who in my opinion, the only thing she did wrong is trying to keep a happy home.

I got the news of her reaction while I was still on air last night, trust me, I couldn’t wait to watch. Once I got off my program, I landed on youtube. I have seen people whose home are in shambles, women especially, whose source of livelihood is taking the next flight to Abuja to see the next big boy in town for some sex and cool cash talking nonsense on social media, saying the video wasn’t necessary and all that. These words are for you all – you will never be the woman Tiwa Savage is today. I do not blame you all though, na condition cause am. Some of you all don’t even have the patience or MB to watch the video, I perfectly understand your ignorance.

Just like my podcast on Thursday, there are lessons in every situation. So while you all turn yourselves to judges, please learn. I have learnt and must share.

Read below, 9 Lessons To Learn From Their Failed Marriage

1. Age is just a number
I watched her confess to her weakness yesterday and all I wanted to do at that point was to reach out to Tiwa Savage, give her a big hug and tell her how strong she is. Most women who will never have the opportunity of hearing their own stories have made terrible decision because of Age. Dear ladies, this is the 21st century, age should not drive you into fire. Take note.

2. Do not settle for less
No matter how old you are or how deep you think you are in, do not settle for less. You will either have a broken home or live bitter for the rest of your life

3. Look out for the red flags
Always look out for the red flags. The interviewer who I thought was very annoying all through the interview, managed to ask her a very vital question. She asked if she didn’t see these signs before marriage. Tiwa Savage admitted to the fact that she was warned before marriage, she saw some signs but she wasn’t paying attention.

4. Let your head make decisions not your heart
When some of us fall in love, we fall foolishly. Kindly remember to take your head along. Love is always not all we need for a successful marriage

5. Listen to warnings, we are not all against your happiness
We are not all haters. If you are about to make important decisions such as marriage, when 2, 3, 4 or more people tell you it’s a NO, try to find out why. We cannot all be bitter or haters.

6. Marry for the right reasons
Don’t marry out of pity. From Tunji Balogun’s rants on social media and the whole drama playing out right now, I will say part of the reasons which fueled her decision is to appreciate Teebillz for allegedly picking her up from the gutter. Though this said gutter was in the abroad o.. ok.. you get the point. Marry for the right reasons

7. Talk about everything, including finance
Everything should be talked about. From sex to finance. Money and relationship has been the theme of my radio program for 2 weeks now, though we are done but people still don’t get the point. You must talk about your income, your spending habits and your projections. Don’t assume it will all work itself out. An acquaintance still said to me last night after the radio program that the part of the reasons he didn’t listen was because, in his words, “not my kind of topic, i never enjoyed the topic”. Let me just SMH and move on. Don’t assume your partner will be man or woman enough to know his or her responsibilities. We come from different homes, different backgrounds, hence different orientation.

8. Take a walk when necessary
Relationship is not do or die! Heck, marriage is not do or die. It’s not rocket science, if its not working for you, its not working. Try all you can but when it doesn’t, please take a walk. You worried about what people will say? Let them say while you maintain your sanity and peace.

9. Do not let society define your success or happiness
Let not the society define you. LET NOT WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA DEFINE YOU. Define your success, define your happiness, stand by them and make them work.