Friendship – How it all began
Our story is a unique one or at least we like to think so…
Some 8years ago a young computer geek an undergraduate at the time came to do some computer related work for my daddy , usually when daddy’s ‘boys’ come around I seldom talk to them, yea maybe i can be a snub sometimes, not sure, kinda depends on my mood.
There was something about this guy though. it didn’t seem wrong to say hi, offer him food and even chat a little. Not like he was my spec at the time, God! he was so skinny and I just thought he needed food.
So we got talking, his sense of humour was so cool, he was very funny I just kept laughing and giggling at every phrase.
Well I was trying to leave a disastrous and infectious relationship at the time and needed all the help I could get. (Story for another day)
I can’t say how it happened or what it was he said that made me gain instant confidence in him and was already sharing my experiences in that relationship.
He was a very good listener, still is, and when he spoke he was calm and very logical. I got endared, I guess he did too and we soon became friends.
Few weeks later I had to leave for school and our Facebook chats started, he kept tabs on me till I miraculously transited from that relationship to another one.
It was now my turn to get him settled with the girl he was crushing on and we set to work. She got on board with my help and all, we agreed it was ok to take it serious with her and he went ahead.
Days turned to weeks ,weeks to months and years. We moved from being just friends to being best friends, best buddy as we fondly called each other.
Then the ‘storm’ came, and she lost faith in him. Things began to go south, he was hurting. I had to talk, advise, encourage my friend , at some point I went on to talk to her, of course she had issues with our friendship, she didn’t understand it ,hence talking to her was fruitless, she refused to listen to me.
You have to walk away now I said to him, we are done with this girl, u have to be yourself again, you can’t keep hurting , you have to move on. I have good friends, matured ones who will appreciate you.
So I sprang into action “operation get Alex a girlfriend” oh now that’s his name Alex my buddy.
I told him about Chizi my friend , they sort of met he didn’t make the move. I spoke about Liz, told her about him, she too had issues in her relationship. I brought her to his office, he still didn’t make a move. I did it twice and still he said No. Somehow he got by, he was good again, he was getting over her.
Fate smiled on my friend, life started to get beautiful, I was happy for my paddy and we were good like that.
All was not well with me, Loneliness struck, ‘The boo’ broke my heart one too many times , we fought, distance came in between us and it was obvious there was nothing left to hold on to, I needed help again. My buddy of all time was available ,always listening to my vents, my cursing, my adventures and all my excesses . He was simply amazing , there was hardly a decision I took without seeking his opinion and his advice always worked.
We moved from one relationship to another, in search for THE ONE! Somehow none stood the taste of time, I just knew how to fall for the wrong ones – the ones that liked me i didnt want, and of course the ones l liked turned out to be “clowns” (in Alex’s tone).
Buddy turned Hubby
Fastforward to August 2015, his mum had “the talk” with him. “You do not need to make all the money before you think of settling down” she said , we laughed about it and then who to marry came up, I asked him to marry younger sister and become my brother fully as he already played the role very well but he laughed it off.
Well all I know is i have a wedding to plan soon and I was going to be his best Man, we would make history (in our minds). I was super excited at my bestman position and I was praying for the right girl to be found.
September I got an annoying information that terminated my relationship at the time, I was in a bad place sort off, I was more angry than hurt, I was furious, but He was calm.
“I told you that guy cannot be trusted, He doesn’t appreciate you, he cannot see the stuff you are made of, forget the clown”, Alex consoled me.
Now I didn’t mention I come from a bible believing and praying home, oh we are christians, so I sprang into action I took it to God in prayer, The Divine destiny prayer network had taught me how to ‘kabash’. So the kingdom of darkness was in trouble. I was praying , my mum was praying , my prayer coordinator was praying. Yes for marriage!
I need to marry, it was about time. Prophesies and revelations started coming and I laughed like Sarah.
How can I marry Alex , he’s my best friend, he’s like a brother to me, he knows too much, I fought.
And then he said it, he started calling too often, started becoming “something else”.
I didn’t just get it, where is all this coming from. We spent long hours on the phone this time not talking about other girls and guys but about ourselves. Emotions began to run wild, feelings that never existed began to creep in.
It was a funny experience, but his is Alex , My Alika Alex , buddy of life , I would say to myself to snap back to reality, then we would have this conversation again….
Me: Alex what’s going on what are we doing?
Alex: I am doing what I should have done a long time ago, I don’t know what have I been doing all along but one thing I am sure of is I’m not letting you go this time, I want to show the world what an amazing and awesome person you are.
I want to marry you.
After he says these words I realize that reality is here, He is the real deal!
The revelations and prophesies were beginning to make sense and come true, I was on a roller coaster ride. He was already telling his siblings, his mum then his Dad! that he had found his wife, THE ONE. He went ahead to talk to my mum, and then officially met my dad.
Me: Dude slow down we need time to plan ,
Alex:I need to secure you, you have been trapped you are going no where. O ba go!
The feeling was next to none, it felt Queenly to see a guy go all out to “acquire you” legally and forever.
Two Hearts that beat as one…
A few months after I kept drumming it into his ears ” I deserve a formal proposal, it must be a surprise, in public with close friends and family, make sure my nails are nicely done and you must kneel”
I mean I’m a girl I should be asked nicely, romantically and I should be wowed, I deserve it!
Well life happened, tragedy struck , his soldier brother Giddy boi was gone! He went through a whole lot of pain and despair , I ran out of ways to comfort him, I could only pray.
Then mother nature smiled on me , his birthday was just around the corner, and voila! the prefect opportunity to make him smile again and give him something to be happy about.
It had to be perfect or almost, making it a surprise party would spice it up you know I thought to myself.
So I called on 2 of his close friends, they loved the idea, my ‘Evil’ sweet kid sister, and mum where on board with the plan. We reached out to other friends and it was going to be my show , I was going to make my Man melt .
23rd April came, everything was set , the pepper soup was tasty , ugba was on point , music playing, drinks chilling, guests strolling in.
Then I went to get him, when I got to his place, he said he wanted to take me out , just the 2 of us some where we could relax and talk, a quiet place , he chose the same place I had arranged for the party which I thought would make my surprise “easier”. We got to the place and Sure he melted oh he did, he almost passed out seeing his friends, my friends, his siblings and my sister. He was literally swept off his feet.
I savored the moment, oh I enjoyed it, it felt so good. Then he went on to talk about me…
Alex: May I have your attention please, thank you all for this wonderful gesture, I want to talk about this lady standing here, Adaeze come here…..
He started out from the 1st day we met and went on and on through our friendship and to the first time the thought of marrying me came up, He is a more organized talker than I am and very humourous, I got so carried away with his speech that when he got to the point where he said…
Alex: so I want to officially announce that she’s off the market, (I just giggled without a clue ) let me have your permission to, ermm no I don’t need your permission, allow me to, ermm no, I want to publicly and officially ask you Adaeze to Marry me….
Then he went one kneel to the ground , and I went off
Me: No way , this was my show, I planned this , you can’t come and steal my show…
I was literally shouting and walking away, My Evil sister and those same friends of his I planned the party with started to shake hands and laugh at me in excitement.
They had played us, they kept my secret and helped him plan a surprise engagement, got the ring with him and suggested the same venue to him and also kept his secret.
Well I turned to see him still kneeling, hands stretched out and smiling, I tried to close up the gap between us, and for a moment I was totally oblivious to everyone around except him, it felt like it was just the two of us in the whole world , the shouting and chanting of “Say Yes… Yes! Yes!!Yes!!!” from the audience jerked me back to reality, I extended my hand
Me: Of course I will marry you.
And He slipped the ring into my finger.
I had just experienced the “Every girls dream” it was a feeling next to none .
It’s Official I am Engaged to be married to My best friend , my confidant , My brother , my PIC. The coolest , kindest , nicest, sweetest , slimest dude in town…April’s finest.
Ermm wait…Daddy is April’s 1st Finest.
So when I say “I marry my friend” it is not the regular phrase couples use, this one is literal.
SHuga Boi I cannot wait to start forever with u. I know its is going to be exciting , I feel it already , Onyewe m I am ready!
Yea I call him Lord and Master, he’s rules my world, my everything.
BUDDY TO WIFEY – His Version
When I first met her, it never occurred to me that she would end up meaning the world to me.
I was working on her dad’s desktop computer as part of my undergraduate hustle, when she came and sat down beside me, pretending to be interested in what I was doing, but soon, it became clear that she had the ulterior motive of getting me to load the computer with audio and music videos. She particularly wanted soft tunes. I can’t remember how I responded but I’m sure I would have responded in a friendly manner because she continued to sit there and chat with me while I worked. In a matter of minutes, the conversation became so interesting to the point that I began to deliberately slow down my work speed so I could spend more time with this amazing girl. Ada had an infectious smile and a very loud laughter. She laughed so loudly at my jokes; the conversation flowed seamlessly and a friendship developed instantly.
She offered to prepare eba (garri) for me, in my characteristic polite manner, I said no and thanked her for her kind gesture but she bluntly told me to stop “forming”. I had worked on the computer for over five hours and while we talked, I was yawning endlessly; so the fact I was refusing to eat made no sense to her. I eventually accepted to eat and while I was still eating, she said; “abeg chop fast, my papa say make we no dey give students food, before he’ll come and meet you here”, “this girl dey talk o” I said to myself. I finished eating and we continued talking.
As time went on, somehow we started talking about relationships and dating. We gossiped about our friends and acquaintances, and then we started talking about our personal lives. That was how we started offering consultancy services to each other on relationship matters. Talking with Ada was so easy. I was almost intimidated by her bluntness. I would still be trying to analyse my choice of words in my head in order to present my speech in a diplomatic manner and she’ll just drop hers like that. She said whatever she was thinking without sugar-coating it. I realized that I didn’t need to pretend or try to impress her, I just needed to be myself and because of that I developed a strong affinity for her.
The bond grew stronger and we became best friends… We eventually started seeing each other as siblings and would introduce ourselves to strangers as such.
We eventually became ‘’principalities’’ in each other’s life. She became a major stakeholder and played significant roles in determining which girl was good enough for me and which wasn’t or when it was time to move on. Gradually, my opinion became very critical in determining if a guy should be given the chance to come close or not.
Suitors started coming for Adaeze in their numbers and it became difficult to make a decision. She didn’t like the suitors coming and the ones she liked were bunch of unserious and deceptive clowns. As a friend, I continued to do my job � support and encourage her.
One morning in November 2015, this idea from nowhere dropped in my head � marry Adaeze! Though one of friends � Okadigbo had mischievously declared years back that I could end up marrying Ada, I still didn’t see any sense in it. It was a very stupid idea, I wasn’t even thinking of marriage and she was like a sister. My mum had called me a few months earlier and advised me not to wait till I’ve made all the money before I begin to prayerfully search for who to marry, I still was not considering marriage as a priority. I was also concerned about what people will say, especially female friends that didn’t understand my friendship with Ada. Marrying Ada would confirm all their baseless suspicions. Well, I lost control, and suddenly all that didn’t matter anymore. Against all dictates of sound logic I told her I wanted to marry her, but she laughed hysterically and changed the subject. For some reasons, I couldn’t concentrate, and a sudden sense of urgency gripped me! I was under a spell! It beat my imagination why I would have such an amazing friend whose ability to be both awesome and annoying is legendry, and I was foolishly waiting for some clown to come and take her away. I called my parents and told them what was going on, my mum wasn’t surprised but my dad said he needed to make consult God, he also referred me to my pastor. My dad and my pastor made me wait for weeks in breathless anticipation for their responses. Then the long awaited response came, my dad against every expectation said yes and my pastor also said yes – God says she is your wife.
Adaeze still did not take my intentions serious. People say I’m funny, and I probably was not taken seriously because of that. To demonstrate my seriousness, I had to face her dad, a strict Professor and a disciplinarian. I called his phone and with a shaky voice I told him I wanted to come to his house to see him for an important discussion; and he said, �Alex, since when did you start seeking my permission to come to my house”. I laughed nervously and replied �Sir, it’s because I’m not coming alone”, then he paused for some seconds and said �come on Sunday by 5pm”. That meeting was the most awkward meeting of my life for reasons I can’t begin to explain here; but the conclusion of the matter is that I got his approval to ask Ada to marry me.
Having known Adaeze for years, I already knew the kind of engagement that would blow her mind. Her birthday was three days after the funeral of my immediate younger brother (his demise was the most tragic event of my life � God bless his soul), on the same birthday was her sister’s traditional marriage, and so the birthday passed unmarked. Though my brother’s demise left me distraught, her efforts towards getting me to resume my life didn’t go unnoticed. I was totally blown away by her the energy she put into getting things done before and during the funeral. I have never met a more selfless person in all my years; so I made up my mind to formally propose to her on my own birthday which was less than a month away. I got a few friends involved and they gave me suggestions, everything seemed to be going according to plan and I was excited. On my birthday, I took her out to the location suggested by my ’evil friends’. I arrived at the venue suggested by my ‘evil friends’, only to meet the most breathtaking surprise of my life! I was blown away! I walked into a surprise birthday party masterfully orchestrated and seamlessly executed by this amazing girl with the help of my friends. Just like on Valentine’s Day (story for another day) I was moved to tears. I couldn’t speak, I could neither eat nor drink anything I struggled in futility to control my emotions. At that point I realized that my friends were ‘evil’. They were helping me plan a proposal, at the same time they helped Adaeze plan a surprise birthday party. I eventually made my speech, I can’t remember most of what I said but I concluded by going down on one knee, then on both knees… the rest is history..
Now, let me introduce my fiancée to you. Her name is Adaeze Akuchinyere Madu-Iwe, some of her aliases include Daisy, Quincy and Daizy-Q. I gave her the name �Her Royal Majesty” because she’s my Queen and my crown. Now, I know that people tend to say lots of good stuff just to patronize the ones they love but I assure you that is not the case here. Adaeze is a complete African woman, I have never met her type. I assure all of you that I’m not crazy and even if I’m crazy, it’s a voluntary madness because I made a conscious decision to go crazy.
Adaeze my fiancée has the following verifiable attributes:
She has the fear of God (a non-negotiable attribute of every successful wife);
Her culinary skills are out of this world. Forget Calabar women, dem dey learn! If you eat Ada’s food, your life will never remain the same;
She’s very beautiful. Her own beauty is not just in the eyes of the beholder, but in the eyes of EVERY beholder. If in doubt, just go ahead, behold her and get back to me.
She’s smart, creative, intelligent and full of ideas (sometimes I call her Miss Fix it � she fixes everything);
She’s extremely loyal and would do virtually anything to protect the interest of those she loves;
She’s strong, industrious and hardworking. Sometimes, I wonder where gets all that energy from. So much energy for only one person!
She’s a passionate all or nothing kind of person. As far as she’s concerned, it’s either you do it perfectly well or you don’t do it all.
She has the heart of a child! She forgives so easily. She can forgive anything. I honestly don’t know how she does it.
She’s quite loving. She has redefined love for me. My soul is finally at rest!
I’m sure that everybody can now fully understand why I see her as a gift from God. We all can now understand why I’m not letting her go.
For more info CLICK HERE to visit their official wedding site
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