Akpan’s Diary

Good Morning, People of The World… Akpan is here again with his latest escapade. This series isn’t for minors, men of God and women of faith. It is strictly for Children of The World. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx My people, my people. I know say una go don ask of me taya. Abeg ...

Saturday pass, di world no end. Oga no sack me. Sunday pass, di world still no end and Oga no sack me kpa kpa. Madam just squeeze face as she follow from church enta house. She just dey vex, dey talk say her Pastor na fake, say him be 419. ...

No be small thing o.. Madam come back from church last Sunday, come talk say e get wetin she wan tell us for house, say make we come meet am for sitting room. Me and Amara no know wetin she wan talk, but we don dey fear small. Madam dey ...

My people.. How market? Abeg make una no vex say I neva yarn una wetin dey hapun tey tey. Na condition make crayfish bend. E get one small gbege wey almost burst for house. No be me cause am o. Last week Friday, as we jus dey for compound, person ...

My people, una know say dem dey always talk say sometin must kill man. Ehen! My own eh, na t*t* go kee me! My own don reach. I go write letter give Mama Edidiong for Ikot-Ekpene. I go tell am say my pr*ck don put me inside Wahala. I know ...

My people, my people, how una dey? Una no say make una even ask where I dey since. Ah ahn! No be so ooo! Anyway, as una no ask me, make I ask una: How far? Una remember say I catch Madam and Amara dey do kwokirikwo for room abi? ...

My people, e don happen o! Oga travel come leave me and Madam and Amara for house. Madam say make I begin knock for her door before I enter her room, say she no want make I dey look am if she dey baff. Na dat look look dey sweet ...

..Upon say I fall from that chair, Madam no even send that one. She no gree make my pr*ck rest o! I f*ck am reach like 2 times, my pr*ck just dey overheat like car engine. As I say make I enter round 3, I just taya. I no get ...

I am just confused. Totally confused. Who send me? Amara don carry sweet t*to give me, now i don confuse. I no know whether to follow Madam or to pursue Amara. Amara don begin behave like say she no know me. If she see me for house, she go do ...

Oga just dey behave somehow these days. He did not add extra money to my last salary. He’s a good man. I will give him time. I won’t report my Oga. Madam nko? Madam has not had my time after she came back from that 3 day prayer and fasting ...

.. After about 3 minutes, Oga came out with boxers and was speaking big big grammar: ‘Akpan, why are you perturbing the serenity of this domicile?’ Lol. For my mind, I just dey laugh, but I just bone my face, look Oga, tell am: ‘Oga, car wax done finish. Na ...

Madam went for a special 3-day prayer meeting, and I have been in this house with Amara and Oga. Surprisingly, Oga has been coming back early every day. E be like Film. When Madam is around, Oga does not come home till 10pm. Sometimes I wonder why Madam is still ...

No be small tin o! Madam say make I drive am go her Pastor house, make she go do small counseling. When we reach there, Madam say make I wait for car, say she dey come. I jejely stayed in the car, waiting for Madam to come out. After 20 ...

So today, Madam was asking me if I saw her pink pant. Madam talk say she don ask Amara but Amara no take am. I see the pant when Madam buy am, but she never wear am before. The pant be like catapult. Na only rope. The thing fit enter ...

So last weekend, Madam travelled to the village and as usual, Oga came home with one small girl. This one is a new one. Maybe the last one did not do what Oga likes. This new girl didn’t shout like the last one. I tiptoed out of my room, climbed ...

Good Morning, People of The World.. Here is the beginning of the new series. It is absolutely fictional and written in an innocent prose. Enjoy! The loud blaring of a car horn brought me back to earth. Piiim! Piiiiiiiiiiim! Hay God! That’s my Oga’s car horn, and I’m here on ...